DAY 2

Hmm.. I have finally managed my first day without him... i'm gonna go to the house today and pick up some shit... i think yesterday was harder to accept the fact that i needed to leave him... detoxic ...first day hard but now the emotional shit is hitting and hopefully i can just get through one more day. I guess my mom talked to him and shit and i feel bad for him, but this can't be like everyother time, where he cries and says its gonna work, i honestly feel sick of that.

I don't know what its like to be addicted to a drug, but i do know there is a way to avoid it... i guess he told my mom he needs to get out of here but idk... i think i've honestly reached a point where maybe it is too much fighting all the time...maybe we aren't good for each other-- maybe we are... but whichever it is can't be a decision made over night... i need to see something b/c after the harsh things he said the other day, my mind just can't do it... can't forgive him and no forgiveness...no trust = no relationship.

Anyways i went to church this morning and hopefully i can keep finding stuff to occupy myself the rest of the day...

Just in a thinking mode for now..